Off to Squam!

Me and Ben, Lake Merritt, photo by Bethany, Canon Rebel Xti

Dear Ben,

Hello adorable boy! I miss you already in anticipation of my week away at Squam. (Insert little heartache for mama) The good news is that you have a rotating roster of your favorite people that will be here to play with you and care for you. You are going to have so much fun! But for those moments when you're wondering, where the heck are mama and dada? I just wanted to tell you that we will be back very soon and at that very moment that you are thinking that question, we are thinking about how much we love you.

I will be teaching my first class Ben! I have never taught before and I am excited and nervous... Jen and Jonatha will be with me though, so how bad can it go? A bit of advice, if you are doing something scary for the first time, it's a good idea to have a coupla pals with you. Just sayin.

I will be going to something like girl camp, complete with art classes and bonfires and music and lots of laughter. It is going to be the life-shifting, creative-sparking kind of fun... my favorite kind. I will show you lots of photos when I come home.

And you won't believe this, but Dada is going to be in the Venice Biennale this year! He will be going to Venice, Italy and will be honored for some of his amazing art projects. This is a big deal for him and a big celebration of all of the work he's done over the years. Go dada!

Did I mention how adorable you are these days? You have some new obsessions worth noting: bikes.
You call them "butts." You talk about butts constantly. Mama butt. Dada butt. Ben butt. And the ball love affair is a constant. You would sleep in a sea of balls if you could. Today at the toy store, you picked out a ball that you wouldn't let go of. It was huge and bright lavender and had pink butterflies all over it. It was funny to watch myself pick up the more boyish, blue soccer style ball and offer that one up, and of course you were like Whatevs mom! This one is way better. And you were right.

Oh, another obsession: Elmo.
Yep. I said it.
We hesitated for a long time to bring him into our home, but I found a used dvd and couldn't resist. I think I had some sick curiosity if every kid was crazy for Elmo or if you would be immune to his high pitched voice. Within minutes of watching that show you were already saying "Elmo." It was a little scary. Then you talked about him constantly for weeks. Every time you got up, Elmo! At the park you would try to leave and go home to watch, you guessed it, Elmo! When you were getting your diaper changed, you would ask the inevitable question: Elmo? You were way obsessed.

So we took Elmo away for a while and you were VERY very upset. Every time we said no Elmo, you would cry and cry and cry... We told you that Elmo was on vacation. And even though you eventually made peace with it, weeks later you still talked about him. You'd wake up from a nap and shake your head and say, "No Elmo, No Elmo." We were even hiking once in the woods and you pointed up a hill and asked, "Elmo?"

Anyway, we totally cracked Ben. We couldn't stand it anymore and now Elmo is back from vacation. And you are deliriously happy again. Your little red friend is back! We even ordered a set of dvds. (This is one of those moments Ben when you think you're going to be one kind of parent and you end up another kind.) Seriously dude, whatever brings you that much joy, who am I to stand in the way of it?

Anyway, thank goodness you still like guitars too.

Oh, and one more thing Ben. You are totally a ladies man. When you see the girls at the park you walk right up to them and try to give them a hug, or you try to back up into them and sit on their lap. You need to work on your approach, but I think you've got a good chance. You're a very handsome little dude.

Anyway Ben, mama is way tired and has to pack.

I love you to the moon and back my love.
I love you more than you love Elmo.
And I know you know that that's a whole heck of a lot.

Gettin girly

self portrait, Canon Rebel Xti

I was a bit late to the whole girly thing. I wasn't a tomboy really, just super athletic and not ever really into the makeup thing. Oh, wait, except for that embarrassing period in the 80's that featured lots of blue eyeshadow and bangs sprayed into a wall jutting several inches off my forehead. You guys remember that, right?

Anyway, I've been very minimal about the whole skin care, makeup, girl thing in my adult life. I feel like a 7th grader when I walk into the cosmetics store. I have no idea what the difference is between cover up, concealer and foundation. I'm not sure if I need a lip pencil or an eyebrow pencil or how you remove all that mascara without waking up with dark circles underneath your eyes? Oh, and one more thing. I have never washed my face. Only water in the shower, no soap or anything else. In my own way, I think I've been rebelling. (Against the whole beauty industry thing and the way women are expected to dress and pretty up)

But lately I've been inspired.

It's mostly as a result of getting older (ack!) and having my hormones go haywire from having a baby. When I returned from Puerto Rico, where I got lots of sun, I realized that my face had new freckles and dark patches. I was a bit horrified... and did some research. It's called hyperpigmentation and is totally common as we age but one more reason to keep our sunscreen on. (A friend of mine has the most adorable spot on her face in the shape of a heart)

In honor of my new post-baby skin, I decided to splurge on my first facial. I have to admit, I felt all glowly afterwards. And I totally drank the koolaid on the whole skin product thing. I am now washing my face for the first time since high school! and mostly because she used the yummiest stuff called Eminence. It's organic and lovely. It is also gently and slowly helping to lighten the darkened patches on my skin. I thought I discovered a brand new thing, but it turns out my sister is also a big fan and my favorite store down the street just started carrying it. I thought I'd share it in case you are looking for a healthy way to feed your skin. I've been loving all of the stone crop products and the SPF30 powder is amazing.

Oh, and I just got an eyebrow wax for the first time ever. Not convinced, but it was fun to try. How am I so late to all this stuff? How do you like to get girly? I'm just learning that it can be kind of fun.

play day

Ben, Lake Anza, Canon Rebel Xti

Wishing you a day of play!

Little Bird

bird on a wall, sf, Canon Rebel Xti

When considering my favorite songs these days, I noticed that something strange was going on. They were all called Little Bird! or something like it. If I could make you a mix cd of my little bird songs, the mix would go like this:

Little Bird of Heaven by the Reeltime Travelers: I have played this song so many times, I think I ruined the cd! It makes me weepy and happy. Give a listen here, and if you want to have it for yourself, you can buy the album here.

Little Bird by Jonatha Brooke: This is off of Jonatha's new album and is my favorite track. It's the sweetest little song in the world.

Little Bird by The Weepies: This is from their newest album Hideaway.

Little Sparrow by Dolly Parton: This album came out in 2001 and made me fall in love with Dolly. I didn't know how amazing she was until I fell for this track.

The Littlest Birds by the Be Good Tanyas: Another fantastic album you must listen to.

I'm Like a Bird by Nelly Furtado: Remember this one? Poppy and sweet... I still love it.

I will wade out

Karen Walrond, Oregon coast, Canon Rebel Xti

I will wade out
till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
Alive
with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
Will I complete the mystery
of my flesh
I will rise
After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

-ee cummings