Let's start off the year with a little miracle*

Esteria, photo by Jen Lemen, Canon Rebel Xti

Over the last year I have witnessed a bursting open of my dear friend Jen Lemen. She returned from her trip to Rwanda changed, awakened and cracked open in the most profound ways. If you have been reading Jen's blog, you have probably been following along with her stories of the family that she connected with there. (Her best friend Odette's family)

They are now currently building a house for Odette's mom and are in the home stretch, looking for the last bit of money to complete doors, windows and a nice solid rainproof roof.

This project started when Jen and Kelly Rae put a call out a couple of months ago to begin raising money for this house.

Kelly describes the back story of the house project beautifully here:

Meet esteria. She is a genocide survivor, and mother to 11 children (all but four have died). She lives in a tiny village in Rwanda, and she spends her days caring for two young grandchildren who have been orphaned by AIDS. She has a special place in Jen's life, not just because Jen spent a lot of time with her during her trip to africa, but because she is odette's mother (odette is also a genocide survivor living as a refugee in the states and is dear dear friend of jen's). jen tells me esteria is strong. brave. and a testament to love.

Esteria's mud house (pictured above) has been in a serious state of disrepair since a rainstorm blew in the roof last november. and this year's rainy season has almost completely demolished what's left. bottom line: Esteria and the two grandchildren she is caring for deserve a home that can withstand the rain. a home with a concrete foundation and a strong roof. a home that can not only safely house their family, but one that can house their hopes, dreams, and future.

That community raised enough money to build nearly the whole house, and now we, the dear superhero community have an opportunity to raise the rest! With the remaining, necessary funds this house can be finished in 7-10 days and Esteria (Odette's mom) can move in right away with her two grandchildren.

Total remaining cost for this is $2500.

If we can all pitch in just 5 dollars (or more if you are able) we can get this house built in the next 5-10 days. Isn't that a miracle?

I am giddy with the thought of us doing this together today. Here is the link to chip in. I will keep you posted on our progress!

Sailing home

Point Reyes, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

I have been dipping in and out of the wonderful book, Sailing Home: Using Homer's Odyssey to Navigate Life's Perils and Pitfalls by Norman Fischer. Opening it at random today I found this passage:

Few of us are willing to actually be ourselves. Mostly, we deny, berate, or ignore ourselves, preferring self-deception, judgementalism, or just plain oblivion. Being ourselves involves awareness and acceptance of our craftiness and our imperfection-and this awareness tames us, so that we can understand and appreciate our quirks and the quirks of others. It gives a broader, deeper perspective.

To be Nobody is not to enter some fantiastic condition of egolessness. It is simply to be willing and able, when it is time, to drop the self, to let Somebody go and surrender to circumstances. We do this as a discipline when we give ourselves over in meditation or in prayer. We do it too, in those rare but always absorbing moments of abandonment that can come in art or work or love. We might need to do it at any moment of living- to let go on a moment's notice of what we think we are and what we think we want, and be willing to turn around on a dime, trusting what comes instead of evaluating and resisting it. To be Nobody is to float on the ocean of stories with faith, and without thrashing around too much, willing to wait for the proper current to take us where we need to go.

A three hour walk in the woods can solve almost any problem*

walk in the woods, Berkeley, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

Yesterday I had a little victory.

It was one of those days when all you want to do is crawl into bed, dive into work, take that pill, watch a movie, anything to distract you from the pain of your own thoughts. Anything to escape from your miserable self. When the sitter arrived and I knew I had three precious hours, I thought about what I wanted to do with it. Go shopping? Take a bath? Get back to work? Crawl into bed? Gravity was pulling me toward bed... the creamy pasta was kicking in, it was cold outside, a hot bath would be nice... But the wisest part of me was whispering even more loudly, You need to move your body. You need to walk. This is the only thing that will offer real healing.

The victory was that I listened.

I took myself to a pretty trail I had never hiked, made sure there were other cars in the parking lot (so as to avoid a stressful, creepy walk) and I promised myself one thing: that I would walk until something shifted in me. And then, when it shiifted, I would keep walking even further until I was dog tired and red cheeked and I knew for sure that my cells had been rearranged.

As I walked I remembered how natural it is for me to do this kind of thing, how much my spirit needs this to stay balanced and happy, and how I had somehow forgotten this fact in recent years. When I was kid and lived near the ocean, I would walk every night by myself to the beach for sunset. When I was a bit older and got my first mountain bike, I discovered that you could bicycle along the hard sand at low tide and get to the next town. I would ride and get hot chocolate at the cafe, my secret alone adventure. In college, crushed out on a boy who was an avid mountain biker, I cycled several hours every day in the hills in Santa Barbara trying to keep up with him. I would return scraped up and bruised, sweaty and very happy. (I never ended up getting the guy, he was gay it turns out! but we had great times together)

In coaching training, new coaches would often say to their clients, get out of your head and into your body! I loved it when one of my teachers remarked that your head is actually attached to your body, and being in your head is being in your body. As I walked I could see the inevitability of this, how moving my body so rhythmically and deliberately was literally moving around the stuck places in my brain. It took only 20 minutes before I felt better, but I happily walked for two more hours.

What's my point, right? We all know this.

The trick is that little victory I pointed to earlier. The victory was in choosing this over the other. It was choosing self-care over all of the things I ought to have been doing. It was choosing the variety of self-care that my heart knew I needed, even though I didn't initially feel like it. My gremlins wanted me to stay home and pay the bills, clean the house, you're paying good money for this sitter for goodness sakes! The saddest part of me that gives up when things are hard, wanted to crawl into bed and hide for as long as possible. The unconscious part of me just wanted the distraction of shopping or work or bad tv.

Self-care comes in many different forms. Sometimes the best thing actually is to go to work and to be distracted by something bigger than you (or just different than you) Sometimes a hot bath and a juicy book is exactly the right medicine.

I am learning about the right medicine for me, the right tool for the right job. As I go into the new year, I am hoping to listen more to that wiser voice, and in the clamor that is sometimes my head, to be able to discern which voice is truly the most compassionate.

Happy Holidays + Ben video + winner of giveaway*

I'm feeling quiet these days so I will let Ben do the honors in wishing you all Happy Holidays! This is a video from Christmas eve when Ben entertained us all with his rockstar moves. Note that he is wearing little more than a set of striped Christmas socks.

Sending love and joy to everyone out there on the interwebs!

And the winner of the earrings from Michele Goldstein is Morgan who said, "Oh my! These are adorable... They are like Frida Kahlo, for ears. Love them." Congratulations Morgan!

Oh, and in my hideout time I have been reading the most wonderful books. Here are some of them:
The Wishing Year: A House, a Man, My Soul A Memoir of Fulfilled Desire by Noelle Oxenhandler

Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Rom by Peggy Orenstein.

Annie Leibovitz at Work by Annie Leibovitz

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Giveaway! earrings by Michele Goldstein*

earrings by Michele Goldstein, Canon Rebel Xti

We have a great giveaway this week! These gorgeous earrings by the fabulous Michele Goldstein. I love how she mixes felt and glass in such colorful and creative ways. Definitely check out her holiday Bazaar here.

Giveaway Guidelines:
-You have until 9pm PST on Friday, December 19th to enter this giveaway.
-Just make a comment ON THIS POST to enter.
-One entry per person, please. (Just push "post" ONCE and wait a few seconds. The comment should appear)